I am absolutely entrenched in the concept of living in another time.
A common question, Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you meet?
if you could only just… transcend time.
I want to go back to literally anytime before the year 1990, literally anywhere in the United States. No time or place is preferred as long as it is before the year 1990 and in the United States. I generally like every aspect of my life, and if I didnt, I would work to change, but I will never have the oppurtunity to smoke my cigarettes inside and it is worse than death to me.
Did you know that you could smoke cigarettes inside college classrooms and auditoriums? WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!
It would cost me five hundo if I got caught smoking in a hotel room.
This is absolute horse shit!
Second hand smoke my ass! youre lucky to just be around someone so cool that they smoke.
Since when is it a damn doctors place to tell ME whats healthy and not healthy?
The only place you can smoke indoors anymore are these rare bars that still allow smoking.
True dive joints, I am sure if you even mentioned that it was a “dive” that they would throw you out.
Im not going to get my ass all the way down to South Philly just so I can smoke my bones and drink a beer at the same time, thats ridiculous.
And it has basically nothing to do with bars. I am not one of these artsy types that only smokes after a few drinks. I am a real smoker. A man of the past, a true “going out for a pack of smokes” kinda guy and if my kids are crying or my wife is being annoying I’ll just go out for a pack of smokes. haha not really though but kinda.
I dont really have that much more to say besides how fucking backwards it is that a grown ass man cant smoke a damn stoge or cigarette inside anymore. I completely missed the time. Wasnt even born yet. I was mid-90s, I only remember a few resturants allowing smoking, but certainly no other businesses.
I know what your saying, your saying, “Dap, what the fuck, just go smoke outside you lazy dickhead”. Well I have something to say to that!-NO! its January bro, and Im not getting frost bite just so I can get a smoke in, thats so stupid.
And you say, “Have you ever heard of gloves and a hat you dumb bastard?”
and I say something stupid
and you say something stupid
and then we start fighting and arguing but I never want us to be angry at each other. I love you and I am sorry for always hollering at you. Im going through some things, you know with work and stuff, and I think I am just a little bit on edge. You open your arms and I notice your lip trembling and a tear drops right from your eye, past your lips, onto the ground. I see your arms wide, and I take a step towards you and we embrace right in the middle of the side walk. It has been too long since we acknowledged how much I need you and you need me.
After a few moments we leave each others grasp and look at each other somewhat foolishly.
What are you getting into today? I ask
Nothing
Wanna go see a movie?
Sure! you reply.
We walk down the sidewalk next to each other all the way to the cinema. We agree on a movie, you even bought the popcorn. As we sit down in the theatre I reach into my pocket and retrieve a little box. I get down on one knee and I see your eyes widen, you ask me what I am doing.
I say, “I gotta get low so no one sees that Im lighting this cig real quick, can you use your hands to cover the light from the flame?”
“You cant smoke in here!” you yell
“Shut the hell up, your gonna get us kicked out” I whisper back.
The smoke from my cigarette must have been illuminated from the projector because as soon as I get back into my seat I see that the whole theater is looking right at me.
I scream, “Why cant we smoke indoors anymore? has everyone gone mad?!”
The moral of the story is yes everyone has gone mad and it fucking sucks to be me in this smokeless world.
Thanks for reading
